Yo Hiltons, I’mma Let You Finish…

… But the Self-Proclaimed St. Louis Socialites are the Best Socialites OF ALL TIME.

We’ve been AWOL since the A-List Party, eh? We’re busy and we’re sorry. And some of us are still reeling from the crazy fame-orgy that was the A-List…? So probably not that part. These socialites are too together for fainting from celebrity exposure (unless that celebrity was maybe Andy Samberg or Al Gore or Milo Ventimiglia, none of whom were in attendance).

In lieu of a long rundown, we simply present you with our Official StL Magazine A-List hotness:

There you have it. Awesome hair, cute dresses, and brilliant/pretty girls.

You’re welcome, St. Louis.

And thanks again, butterflies, for getting us there!

xoxo,

sls

The Importance of Being Around + Not Actually Having Children

So I sort of had the best 4th of July weekend ever. I know, I KNOW! We’ve all finally gotten past all the build-up and red, white and blue-ness of Independence Day. We had a week and a half to recover. We’re on to the next holiday. Move ON, Madelyn. But I promise the decision to share this with you despite the obvious un-timeliness was prompted by a yesterday event. It just so happens that it all pertains to July 4. And I sort of had the almost best (actuallymaybeonlyinterestingandborderingonmundane) 4th of July weekend… EVER.

Tonight is the Night. Tonight is OUR Night!

Dear Readers,

As you may know, tonight is the annual St. Louis Magazine A-List Party which celebrates everyone who is anyone in St. Louis, or everyone who is anyone according to St. Louis Magazine.

I’ve been reading STL Mag since I was a pre-teen. Scratch that. I’ve been reading the “Glitterati” page of St. Louis Magazine since I was a pre-teen, gawking at the beautiful famous people out on the town, scouring the pages, looking for someone I might know to give me a sense of associative importance and fame.  I wouldn’t say I’m a social climber, a one-upper, or a star-fucker for that matter, but important, successful people in the limelight excite me.  Like any overachiever, I love success.

When I found out our blog won the St. Louis Magazine’s A-List Reader’s Choice Award for Best Blog this year, let me tell you, I was a bit shocked, a bit flabbergasted, and all around giddy.  Um, how did this happen? The St. Louis Socialites, really? But fuck all that nonsense, we advertised, we formed a reader base, and this is our taste of success and we’re going to shine.

So join us, tonight, 7pm, at Maryland Plaza in the Central West End for the St. Louis Magazine A-List Party. Buy us a few drinks, give us copious amounts of food, engage us in political debate about animal welfare, laugh at my lack of bathing and our car accident karma– if you read this blog, you’ll already know us.

And most importantly, thank you for voting.

a mystery of epic proportions

Every. single. time. I get into my car and I turn on the radio do you know what I hear?

“Greetings loved ones
Let’s take a journey”

UGH KILL ME.

I do not and will not understand why the song “California Girls” by Katy Perry is so god damned popular. I am baffled. Katy Perry is a cutie for sure, but (a) she’s marrying an idiot and (b) this whole song is about how everyone with a vagina not born in or living in the state of California sucks.

Why I LOVE Summer

Dear anxious readers,

Fear no more, but The Bing is BACK. In a future post, I can go into the more elaborate explanation behind my two-month hiatus and now current return, but for now, here is a three bullet-point summary:

1.) I landed a pretty important, above-and-beyond full-time job doing what I do best: i.e. political fundraising, writing, and most importantly, event planning, not only here in St. Louis, but all around the state of Missouri. It takes up a significant portion of my time, and understandably so. And springing this on a chick acclimated to only freelance/part-time endeavors and excessive social outings also meant a much-needed shift in priorities. Thus, the blog had to be put to the way-side while I adjusted to my new schedule.

2.) I have been sick with a malaise of the lady persuasion for the past week and took some time off. This made me realize I can’t give up blogging, or writing for that matter, because it is my biggest passion. I need to find time. And I have conjured up new ways never to let my audience down again while still maintaining and rock-starring my job during the day. Why not conquer all fields of interest, right?

3.) The St. Louis Socialites won Readers’ Choice Blog of the Year for the 2010 St. Louis Magazine A-List. Um, yeah. Time to Mother-Fucking STEP IT UP. When the pressure is on, I’m your girl. Always.

So with that out-of-the-way, back to my original point: I LOVE SUMMER.

Club Memberships + A Mildly Manic Buying Spree

My month of June was spent indoors.¹ The pretense of the gross imbalance in my Inside/Outside ratio is as follows: (1)disdain for temperatures near 100° Fahrenheit  (2)tendency to burn despite sunblock (3)general lack of interest in humidity. Essentially, I am not fit for summer in Saint Louis.

If she’s not filling her free time with normal summer-y things, you may wonder, what has she been doing? The short answer: BOOKS. In beginning this summer word-fest, I found that my house had a troublingly low pool to choose from. Thankfully I recently finished a wealth of jobs, accompanied by a wealth of disposable income. Hence, my situation was quickly remedied.

Here’s a glimpse into the sad state of the KBoyne Household Library pre-Word-Fest Purchase-Fest:

Something Amiss

Note: In the past few weeks, I have seemed to drop off the face of the earth (and this blog). Unless “off the face of the earth” is eerily similar to what I’ve known as on the face of the earth– that is, in and around Belleville, St. Louis, and my basement– I have not gone anywhere. This is a semi-explanation of what’s been going on. A warning, however, that it is drastically different from the content of our blog in that it is serious and sad. But many things in life are, and I think this one needs to be shared, at least for me. Please excuse any jarring switch in tense, as parts of this were written weeks apart.

I couldn’t write a blog, and examples of ADHD

I’d like to blog about something but I feel like I don’t have anything to blog about. Once I wrote a poem about how I didn’t have anything to write a poem about. It was called “I couldn’t write a poem” and it rhymed and then obviously, the irony is that I wrote a poem even though I couldn’t. I still have it somewhere. I had to meet all these requirements like have one example of an allegory and one example of an alliteration and some other stuff (which now that I think about it seems like a hard task for a 12 year old but I bet in China they do shit like that at age 4.) But somewhere in it I compare myself to Shakespeare, and that’s because even at age 12 I was ballin’.