Taco Bell items that are yum

I love Taco Bell. This isn’t news. It started in high school (as did most obsessions in my little life) when I worked at the now-defunct Olive Garden off Manchester in West County. Every night shift I would get off work late with a gremlin yelling in my stomach demanding sustenance. I make a habit of never working in restaurants where I actually like the food, so OG nosh was not happening. (This statement is partially untrue because the cooks would make me speciality pizzas free of charge in exchange for shameless flirtation. But one can only eat so many Olive Garden pizzas. Even me.)  24 hour McDonald’s was a foreign concept during this day in age (excuse me, 2002-2005), and I hate Steak n Shake. Also, I refused to drive to Timbucktu, aka anywhere farther east of Olive Garden and farther west of my house, to find food. Pretty much left with no other choice, Taco Bell became my beacon of hope. As of today we have yet to break up, nor will we ever. You see, Taco Bell is not evil like Hwy 44. I digress.

Today I went to the Taco Bell right down the street from my house. They built this location last fall and I haven’t been the same since. My pilgrimages to this Mecca have become more and more frequent thus making inferior food groups less and less appetizing. Basically, my diet has gone to hell in a hand basket. Anyway, I went today and ordered what I usually order plus the delicious new Baja Shrimp Taco that I have been enjoying this past month. Instead of giving me my total, however, the dude behind the cash register said into the microphone, “The shrimp taco has been discontinued, it was only a special for lent.” I freaked out, accordingly. That shit was good. But like all discontinued products at fast food fine dining locations (the brownie batter blizzard at Dairy Queen, southwest eggrolls at Arbys, the jalepeno-cilantro shrimp wrap at Crazy Bowls and Wraps), permanent extinction rarely succeeds. I usually run campaigns to get said items back on the menu and win, so I’m not too worried. Give me a couple of months with corporate and I’m sure the Baja Shrimp Taco will be back with a vengeance.

This being said, I want to share with you my favorite items on the Taco Bell menu. Actually these are the only items on the Taco Bell menu I will order, so I’m an expert at their deliciousness. Without further ado:

The Bean Burrito

I can eat 4.

This, my friends, is the manna from heaven off the Taco Bell menu. Simple, tasty, delicious. A combo of beans, cheese, some delicious red sauce. Yum. A staple. And it won’t wreck you diet with only 300 calories per burrito. But I don’t count calories. I eat them.

The Chicken Quesadilla

Delicious everywhere but at the Natural Bridge location

Ok, I’ve had better quesadillas in my time. But remember, Taco Bell is all about simplicity. Let’s not get too complicated here. The TB chicken quesadilla comes with chicken, cheese, some sauce I can’t identify, and then it is melted all together to make me happy. AND the package makes it easy for driving-while-eating with a tear-away strip allowing you to lift each piece of the quesadilla out of the sleeve to ease your journey. Science at its best.

The Chicken Taquito Roll-Ups

Mini-Quesadillas. I wouldn't trust these at Natural Bridge either.

These are essentially chicken quesadillas rolled up and smaller, aka, the more portable version. And they come with a choice of salsa, sour cream (gross) or guacamole (yum). I have nothing else to say about these bambinos.

The Chicken Grilled Stuffed Burrito

It's like their chicken burrito on steroids.

This is the big boy of the Taco Bell burrito family. Now don’t get me wrong, he’s not as big as his Qdoba or Chipotle white-collar cousins, but this working class champion gets the job done when it comes to hunger. He’s got a mix of chicken, some fakey tex-mex rice (the only downfall) beans, pico-de-gallo, some interesting white sauce (…) and a mix of cheesy goodness. He may not play in the burrito big-leagues when it comes to high quality, but taste wise, he’s doing just fine.

The Baja Shrimp Taco

Come back to me, please?

This little sucker from under the sea stole my heart and swam away with it thanks to Taco Bell corporate. But if I have anything to say about it, we will be reunited and it will be glorious. Anywho, my memory is fading slowly by the hour, but this taco was filled with 6 delicious shrimp, lettuce, pico, some green avocado sauce, and lots of love. It was the first taco I’ve ever had at Taco Bell. TACO. TACO BELL. Until then, I was feigning ignorance by believing Taco Bell was actually Burrito Bell. Parting is such sweet sorrow.

So there you have it. Taco Bell’s finest. Enjoy your (4th) meal.




2 Responses

  1. I hope you got paid for this.

    • No I did not. But if anyone from Taco Bell wants to pay me, I would gladly accept payment. Preferably in cash, but bean burritos work well too.

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